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Basic Toilet Humor

Toilet humor has long been the comfort zone of your Daily, and we are always mindful regarding memorable lavatory incidents and milestones, notably connected to soccer. Readers were entertained to learn that Big Website columnist a famous broadcaster owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet within his residence. Reflect for a moment for the Barnsley fan who understood the bathroom a little too literally, and was rescued from an empty Oakwell stadium post-napping in the lavatory at half-time during a 2015 defeat versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and couldn't find his phone and his hat,” elaborated an official from the local fire department. And everyone remembers during his peak popularity playing for City, the controversial forward popped into a local college to use the facilities during 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then entered and inquired directions to the restrooms, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” a student told the Manchester Evening News. “Subsequently he wandered through the school as if he owned it.”

The Toilet Resignation

Tuesday marks 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit as England manager after a brief chat in a toilet cubicle alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, after the notorious 1-0 loss against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the famous old stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, his confidential FA records, he stepped into the wet troubled England locker room directly following the fixture, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams “fired up”, the two stars urging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies discovered him collapsed – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the dressing room corner, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Collaring Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to salvage the situation.

“Where on earth could we find [for a chat] that was private?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Only one option presented itself. The lavatory booths. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history took place in the vintage restrooms of an arena marked for removal. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I secured the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

And so, Keegan resigned, subsequently confessing he considered his period as Three Lions boss “soulless”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I struggled to occupy my time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It’s a very difficult job.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers have long disappeared, whereas a German currently occupies in the technical area Keegan previously used. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: National team followers, value this time. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

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Daily Quotation

“There we stood in a long row, in just our underwear. We represented Europe's top officials, top sportspeople, examples, adults, parents, strong personalities with strong principles … however all remained silent. We hardly glanced at one another, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with an ice-cold gaze. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures referees were previously subjected to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What does a name matter? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to take care of the first team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and distributed some merchandise, I've opted to write and share a brief observation. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the schoolyard with youngsters he knew would beat him up. This self-punishing inclination must explain his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|